“Don’t forget to fall in love with yourself first.” Carrie Bradshaw
I’ve met so many beautiful, smart and talented people in my life and many of them were extremely unhappy and feeling as they don’t matter in this world. It was always shocking to me because they looked like the ones who have it all. And maybe they had, except their self-love.
We better cut this shit out right now because if we let our low self-esteem take over, there really aren’t any promises for the future. Everyone can learn how to create a healthy self-love. The only difference is that some people grew up in a super mentally healthy family. They are always being supported and encouraged and rewarded, while others are seeing their parents smoke crack without receiving any compassion or love. Or maybe some of you were in an abusive relationship, and you lost self-respect.
Whatever your story is, every single day, every hour and every minute you have the chance to change this negative mental state and start looking for those amazing and magnificent things you have inside of you. Here are 7 ways how to learn to love yourself once and for all.
1. Forgive yourself
I have had a few conversations with people, and I ask them why they feel that they don’t deserve love. Many of them told me that they feel guilty for things they have done in their lives. The other group of people felt guilty that they haven’t done things they should have. They were beating themselves down for errors they can never change. What a torture!
The past is past. Look at it logically. Can you change the past? No! That’s all you need to know to forgive yourself. You aren’t perfect. I am not perfect. No one is. Accept your mistakes and move on. Instead of focusing on things which you messed up, focus on actions you can take in the future to act better.
2. Do good
Here comes your future. Since you are trying to direct your focus from the past to the present, find at least one positive thing you can do for others or yourself every day.
Once you start acting in a positive and honest way, you start to see yourself in a better light, and your self-esteem arises. The best way to build up your self-love is by feeling good about yourself and by becoming a person with good intentions who deserves every piece of love in this world.
3. Don’t let your past define you
The greatest law isn’t the law of attraction if you think. The greatest law is that we all make mistakes. Period. We all are guilty of something, especially when we are growing up and messing up everything around. Our mistakes are the best teacher because if you are accordingly punished for them, you won’t forget them easily.
Stop looking back and seeing who you were. What happened yesterday doesn’t matter. You can make a decision, any day that you are going to change and become the person you always wanted to be. The person you will actually love.
4. Find and write down every positive thing about yourself
I know, we’ve heard it many times to write things down. But how many people do it? Just a few. People who know about their problem or are saddened by it but don’t do everything they can to change it, don’t get the results they want.
Writing your best qualities affect both sides of your brain which is right and left hemisphere. This sends a signal to your body that you are serious about the change and you mean what you say. Try it. It is a very powerful game changer.
5. Find the courage to go after your dreams
One of the biggest factors which impact our self-love is living the life you don’t want. Too many people get caught up in their fears and doubts and never take action towards things they would love to have in their lives.
Stop with excuses and just take the first step. Even if you don’t believe you can make it, what can you lose?
6. Practice mirror-talk
Mirror-talk is not only useful, but it is also fun. If people talk to themselves in front of the mirror, they boost their confidence and start to feel more serious about themselves.
Practice this self-talk every morning while you are brushing your teeth or doing usual morning routine. You will make yourself feel better and have higher chances to score that day because you are setting yourself up for success.
7. Surround yourself with the right people
People matter and they affect a big part of your life. Once in a while, look around and make sure that you have the right ones next to you. The feeling of love and compassion will have a significant impact on how you feel about yourself.
If love predominates your heart, you will become loving person towards yourself and others. If dishonesty, gossips, and jealousy are things you surround yourself with, you can’t expect too much from this poisoning environment. Choose your surroundings wisely.
What do you do every day to feel good about yourself? Leave a comment below.