Have you ever been in a situation which was painful and uncomfortable and you knew that only a radical change is the way out? You needed to break through this problem, but there was something that was stopping you from doing so. You felt paralyzed and frustrated, beating yourself down for not making changes which you knew are necessary.
Just recently, there was a situation in my life which troubled me and created a lot of worries every day. I knew I must end it or change it, but all I did was finding myself miserable day to day without making any progress. It felt like there is no way out and I am stuck. It had been going on for too long. One thing I started to do was putting myself in more pain. No, I am not a masochist (if you think so) but I have found out that pain can push you to breakthrough because it becomes intolerable. The outcome? I finally did it, and so far it has brought me only relief and strength.
There are many situations when we need to turn things around. Sometimes it is a more positive change like getting a promotion you always wanted; sometimes it means ending a toxic relationship. If you feel stuck (as I did) I have for you 7 behaviors which may prevent you from reaching your desired breakthrough and end this feeling of misery.
1. You are not taking responsibility
There are always some people or circumstances which prevent you from making a change. Those are either your parents or your spouse, your boss, lack of money, lack of time; you name it. I know you are not going to like me right now, but all these are only excuses.
Once you take full responsibility for your life and actions, you will free yourself from the nonsense of blaming others for your unhappiness or misery. The truth is that you are the only responsible here and the outcome of your life depends solely on you, no one else.
2. You don’t feel enough pain
As I mentioned at the beginning, one of the things which pushed me towards my last big breakthrough was a pain. I stopped lying to myself that my life is somewhat good and that that’s how happiness looks like. It was only a BS to make myself feel better which brought me the exact opposite.
As long as you are in the state of mind which tells you that your situation isn’t “that bad,” you don’t feel the urgency to change it. What happens is that we settle for mediocre life, for “Okay” life. Your thought process looks like this: “I can keep that job; it pays bills.” “I can stay in that relationship; we get along.” Were you born to pay bills or get along? Or were you born to accomplish great success and live in an absolutely loving and passionate relationship?
3. You pity yourself
One of the worst things you can do is feeling sorry for yourself. This comes back to the fact that you aren’t taking responsibility for your life and all you do is blaming everything and everyone but not yourself.
Look, many of us came from families where parents were divorced or died, they were alcoholic or drug addicts, many of us were living in a destructive relationship which led to mental bottom, we came from poor environment living on a welfare and barely having money to buy food. I have for you one question; “So what?” We all carry some personal story within us, but the real difference is in how you take it and use it in life.
4. You lack self-belief
I believe that the way how you grew up, examples you’ve seen or how you were being treated has an enormous impact on your life. It influences your thoughts, your beliefs or self-worth. Sometimes we come from such a destructive environment; self-belief sounds like a joke. There can be tons of people coming to your way and saying how they believe in you, how great you are but as long as you don’t feel it within yourself, words of others have no value, and I get that.
The only thing which can help you here is action. Often, you need only one shot. The only one-time feeling of the total self-belief to convince yourself that you can do practically anything. Find one thing in your life which you think you can’t do. Make a plan. Open your mind and don’t be realistic. I am not asking you to believe it, just do it. You need to see it and feel it for yourself.
5. You listen to others judgment
People always have tons of advice and great ideas on how to live your life; they forgot to manage their own. Look, you are the only person here who knows the best. You know what you want, what you like or dislike and how you want your life to look.
Quit listening others opinions and always follow your instinct. If you feel that something doesn’t fulfill you or causing you too much stress and worry, leave it or change it. Don’t listen to your best buddy who is advising you to go against your gut instinct. What works for you, doesn’t work for others and vice versa.
6. You aren’t rebellious
With every action, there is a reaction. If you decide that you are going to live your life on own terms, do everything you always wanted and follow your heart, get ready that you are going to meet with some resentment.
If you don’t act rebellious, it means you are following what others say so you can please everyone around you. It is hard to make a breakthrough when you focus more on others needs towards you than your own.
If you are afraid of judgment or criticism which are stopping you from making a change, forget about it. You are going to be judged by others no matter how much you are trying to avoid it. Always do what you think and feel is right. If it is going to piss a few people off, that means you scored.
7. You limit yourself
Let me get one thing straight. The only limits you think you have are the ones you create. Period. There is no any other explanation to it. I don’t blame you for it because as I mentioned earlier, they may be a result of previous life experience or any destructive situation which happened. Your job is to find them and break through them.
The action is the best way to become limitless. Start with little things, those small fears you have. It is all about training and commitment. With this attitude, you will break any limits in no time.
What do you think is stopping you from your personal breakthrough? Leave a comment below.