“When you live your life by poor standards, you inflict damage on everyone who crosses your path, especially those you love.” Jordan Belfort
It was a typical Monday morning. I opened my eyes, already feeling depressed because of the beginning of the week and the fact that I have to make it to a job I dislike every minute of my being.
Over the weekend, I was often numbing my pain by using alcohol or any other source of substance just so I don’t have to face the reality. Deep down, I knew I am living in a mental shit state. However, I pretended the opposite while snapping another picture of a palm tree with a subtitle “Miami” so everyone in my country thinks that I am living it.
I believe that if we are living in the pain long enough, eventually it pushes us to face it. That was my case. It hit me. It sucked. Waiting for weekends sucked, going to a job which I dislike and not going after my dreams sucked, drinking the same drink, at the same bar, served by the same bartender sucked.
That was the time when I seriously started reconsidering my circle and what the fuck are we all doing here. Is this a life? Is this a big American dream? Heck no. I knew I bought into this bullshit long enough, it was time to cancel my subscription.
That’ where the whole transformation of cutting people off and raising my standards began. It wasn’t an overnight process, it was something that took me quite a while and I think I am still growing with it.
Since now I better understand how important is our circle, here are 5 important reasons why you need people who challenge you to do better and be better every single day.
1. You raise your standards
Here is the thing. When you hang out with people with low standards, eventually, you will lower yours. And you do this subconsciously without even realizing it. What you see becomes your new reality, something that is acceptable.
On the contrary, when you surround yourself with people who work hard and play hard, it will inspire you to do the same. It will challenge you to push yourself even when you don’t feel like it. And that lifestyle will become your new reality and what was acceptable with your old crew, suddenly becomes unacceptable.
“Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.” Mandy Hale
2. You become more selective
Your circle becomes smaller and stronger. You won’t welcome every single person who crosses your life with open arms, willing to share with them anything and let them take over. You’ll observe more and select better.
Being selective doesn’t mean that you are better than someone else. It means knowing what are your values and priorities and aligning them with others who share the same or similar interest. You need people who don’t ridicule you but support you, people who see beyond and who encourage you to dream bigger.
3. You speed up your growth
By being around people who are challenging you to level up, your growth will skyrocket. There is a tremendous difference between those who party every Friday and go through recovery over the weekend and those who seek learning, knowledge and higher quality experience.
Maybe you exchange the weekend of booze for a weekend of some powerful event, your TV may be replaced with a book or an online course.
People who are destined to succeed work on themselves every single day, they make sacrifices and don’t avoid what’s uncomfortable.
4. You feel alive
No matter how many parties I went to or how much alcohol went down my throat over the weekend, there was a giant hole in my soul. I didn’t feel satisfaction, I didn’t feel alive no matter how insanely I danced on the party last night.
When you surround yourself with people who challenge your standards in a positive way, you will be pushed to progress. And as Tony Robbins said, “Progress equal happiness.” And that’s what makes you alive more than anything else.
When you work on something that truly matters to you and you follow your purpose, it doesn’t matter how much or how long you go because it keeps you happy.
5. You’ll discover the “higher level”
For most of my life, I believed that I won’t achieve anything significant. It was the result of my background and also my environment who was probably thinking the same way.
Anywhere I went, I attracted people into my life with the same or lower standards. Only when I accumulated enough pain to consider making some changes in my life, I started to discover that the level of my belief system was extremely low.
When I let go off some people from my life and started to focus on those who had what I wanted, I learned that there are more opportunities than I ever considered. Those weren’t people born with silver spoon in their mouth. Those were people with the same or similar struggles who decided to go after what they want and persist.
That new circle allowed me to see the higher level, a better life which comes with the price I was willing to pay.
The quality of your circle is extremely important. Even when you think that you can show people a better life, hoping they will change and see what you see, the impact is often more powerful.
That’s when you saddle and let go of your dreams, of working hard as well as your standards. Leaving a few people behind isn’t the end of the world, especially when they expect you to stay in their comfort zone. Your purpose is bigger than that so make sure you surround yourself with the right quality people who lift you higher and challenge you each and every time.
What is your opinion on this topic? Join the conversation and leave a comment below.
My name is Silvia and I teach people how to turn their pain into power. My personal struggle inspired me to help people in living a powerful and fulfilling life which they create and control. You can find out more of my story by visiting my personal page www.silviaturon.com. Also, there is a FREE gift waiting for you. See you there!