“Why this has to happen to me?” My favorite line when shit hit the fan and I was forced to deal with whatever challenge showed up on my doorstep. I was living deeply in a victim mentality and blame game was my favorite thing to play.
This was going on for quite some time without seeing any resolutions or different results. Luckily, this lack of self-reflection kind of let me know that my attitude towards problems isn’t working. So I decided to step out from my blame game, (one of the hardest things I’ve ever done btw) and see things differently.
Tony Robbins said that our biggest problem is the fact that we think we should not have any problems. Who else thinks this is spot on? I don’t know about you but my both hands are up.
Here is the seemingly hard but freeing truth: we are going to deal with problems, struggles, challenges, pains, hurts and much more. Sounds inspiring, I know. But let’s use our common sense for a moment.
Have you ever met a person who had no problems? A person who did not deal with any challenges. No. There is no such a person. We all have our shares of struggles.
Now you’re thinking “Okay, Mrs. Smarty pants, I know that. I deal with debt, lousy job, a boss who is pissing me off, I am single, relationship with my brother is broken. So what’s new?”
I hear you loud and clear and I totally get it. As a recovering blamer, I know it can get overwhelming. It gets desperate because you feel like you have no control over the situation or the outcome. And that’s why I want to show you 5 positive effects of any negative situation you are going through.
“The only problem we really have is we think we’re not supposed to have problems! Problems call us to a higher level – face and solve them now.” Tony Robbins
This post won’t only give you a different perspective on your problems, it will actually open your eyes and let you see an opportunity in a seemingly helpless situation.
1. Sign Effect
This effect is the number one indicator that something in your life isn’t right. It’s hard to recognize that life you are living isn’t aligned with what you want when everything is happy and beautiful.
But when you feel pain from your present financial situation or relationships issues, you know that change must be made. Look at it this way. Every negativity is like a stepping stone for positivity.
2. Push Effect
Here is where we transform the sign into action. When you feel pressure, meaning struggle, dissatisfaction, loneliness, more than likely you will act on it. You feel it’s not right, it’s eating you alive and it’s preventing you from that happy state of mind you are dying for.
Push effect usually happens when a situation becomes sort of intolerable. You can’t do it anymore, you are fed up, frustrated and suddenly, you raise your standards. You decide to make a change, to upscale your life no matter what it takes. As you see, that’s the positive effect right there.
3. Growth effect
This is the place where the real, lasting change starts. I cannot begin to tell you how many times my growth literally skyrocketed after a very challenging situation. But here is the thing.
This concept of negativity in positivity doesn’t do the work if we see it only as a concept. We have to apply it in real life. As I previously mentioned to you, I was deeply involved in blaming and feeling like the victim of my circumstances. If this state of mind continues, it may lead to depression, numbness, anxiety and a whole lot of shit we don’t want in life.
The true growth can happen only if we understand this 5 positive effects and work with them. Another important thing to keep in mind is that we all deal with something. Whether you are poor or rich, single or in a relationship, running your business or working on the job. You are not alone.
“Growth is uncomfortable because you’ve never been here before – you’ve never been this version of you. So give yourself a little grace and breath through it.” Kristin Lohr
4. Strength effect
Strength effect is caused by growth effect. Because let’s be really honest here. There is no way, literally no any slight possibility that we can grow and become stronger without fighting any challenges. We need them to take us from negative to positive, to train us and teach us how to cope with problems.
This effect is one of the most rewarding and after a few fights, it usually leads you to the last effect which is empathy.
5. Empathy effect
This last effect will make the biggest difference in your life. It will contribute to your relationships, create connections with people so strong that no one will be able to break them.
Empathy effect will keep you humble, close to the ground and always remind you one simple thing: We are never too big. It will teach you that you are not alone and that we all deal with struggles. Empathy breaks numbness and doesn’t allow it to settle in your heart.
Wishing or expecting a life without problems is an unattainable goal because that’s like striving for a perfect life. But here is the thing. Perfectionism doesn’t exist. Perfect is an illusion.
I think that the fastest way to happiness and fulfillment is in learning and mastering our challenges and struggles, working on our self-awareness and living according to our values. If we know who we are and what we want, we can better choose what struggles we actually want to have in life and then put in the effort to work on them and learn from them.
I get it. This isn’t the most inspirational post you’ve ever heard. But it’s real. Because this is how life works. And we can master it when we let go of those expectations of how it should be and work with what we have, right now, this very moment.
What do you think about this concept of experiencing positivity through negativity? Leave a comment below.
P.S. Join School of Courage today. Click HERE and find out more.
My name is Silvia and I teach people how to turn their pain into power. My personal struggle inspired me to help people in living a powerful and fulfilling life which they create and control. You can find out more of my story by visiting my personal page www.silviaturon.com. Also, there is a FREE gift waiting for you. See you there!